Every word that comes out of your mouth is a gift to the person that you are speaking to.
Kathleen Edelman
Who is Kathleen Edelman?
Kathleen Edelman has one goal in life… to help people learn to speak kindly to one another. She has spent 30 years counseling and coaching kids and families on the art of communication, using the four temperaments as a foundation. She has a master’s degree in Christian Counseling Psychology, a big heart for educators, and a surprising passion for fast cars and martial arts. She is married and has two grown children.
Here’s her website I Said This, You Heard That website. You can do one of her assessments here: Temperament Assessment.For Business leaders who want to use it in a work setting (not faith-based): The ColorWorks Group website. Temperaments in regards to Kids (perfect for parents, teachers, coaches, grandparents, etc: Kind Words Are Cool website. You can also find her on Instagram: @isaidyouheard & @kathleenedelman, Facebook: I Said This, You Heard That & Kathleen Edelman.
105 Communication And Temperament
In this episode Pamela talks to Kathleen Edelman about communication and temperament. She explains:-
i. What is our natural wiring?
ii. What are these colors that represent our personalities?
iii. How knowing a color help us know how God wants us to be?
iv. Can you give an example of improved communication with this concept?
Understanding Temperament
I have always had problems communicating partly because I don’t like talking as much. Often, I prefer the quiet. I don’t like to reach out and I’m too much of a thinker. I was going through my reading list and Kathleen’s book, I said this, You Heard that, jumped out at me. She talks about understanding the four temperaments (which is different from personality). This is our natural innate wiring which never changes.
Each of the above four temperaments has strength and weakness, and speak a different language.
You can listen to Kathleen as she passionately talks about how we are wired differently and so we need to communicate differently based on the individuals temperament. This was very eye-opening to me.
For example
Strengths of a Phlegmatic: relaxed, quiet and calm, content with themselves, kind, consistent, a steady and faithful friend, accepting, affectionate, diplomatic, peacemaking, rational, curious, observant, an easy friend maker
Weaknesses of a phlegmatic: sometimes shy, fearful of change, judges others, stubborn, passive-aggressive, indecisive, permissive, may avoid responsibility, unenthusiastic, too compromising, sarcastic, discouraging, indifferent.
UNHEALTHY PHLEGMATICS STRUGGLE WITH BEING:
- Fearful – GENESIS 12:10-13
- Passive – GENESIS 16:1-6
- Without Faith – GENESIS 20:1-2
SPIRIT LED PHLEGMATICS ARE OFTEN:
- SPIRIT-LED PHLEGMATICS ARE OFTEN….
- PEACEABLE – GENESIS 13:5-9
- RELIABLE – GENESIS 14:11-14
- FAITH-FILLED – GENESIS 22:1-3
Understanding your Wiring
Kathleen has some wonderful words of wisdom. She says, “your find your purpose in the strength of your temperament when you are living that out.” Imagine all of us using kind words to each other, understanding the innate needs of the people in our lives. We would be able to change relationships, friendships, marriages, children, workplaces and businesses if only we could communicate better. I myself have learned so much. And I’m certainly going to try and learn to apply these. If you’re interested, you can do one of her assessments here: Temperament Assessment.
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